How to Procrastinate
Step 1 Create a sense of false security. If the assignment isn't
due for a week or two, you can relax for a while.
Step 2 Make excuses.
Your room needs cleaned, or you have to take a shower, or the family's floors
suddenly need vacuumed, and nothing else is as important. Naps are another good
excuse to make.
Step 3 Take lots of
breaks. You just finished that 10 minute math assignment? Take a 40 minute
break; you deserve it! You just finished eating? Give yourself time to digest
before getting back to work.
Step 4 Deny that you
are in deep. Your 3 page essay is due tomorrow at midnight and you haven't even
looked at the prompt? You have time to get it done and get a full night's
sleep. And don’t worry about your other homework! You'll get that stuff done as
well.
Step 5 Crisis/Breakdown. After you finish crying and
hyperventilating, swear to yourself and all your closest friends that you will
never procrastinate again.
Step 6 Repeat.
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